I am not happy with my blog!
Right now my blog is suffering from the same "too many ideas, not enough action" syndrome that characterizes my current life situation. I love to write but I haven't been doing that lately and when I begin it seems some other distraction comes along. Nothing is finished, therefore nothing new is getting published here.
The blog also looks like the rest of my life - a confusing mixture of things. Much of the last year was spent neglecting my own immediate needs to help others that truly needed me more than I needed myself. That's good. But now my life is in disarray. It's all fixable but somewhat overwhelming to look around and see the great deal of work that must be done in order to get me back on my rails. Breathe, I tell myself regularly, then I remember: I'm not really the one taking care of me, anyway. This is obvious because fate, God, the Universe, my higher power (choose your preference) has pulled me and my loved ones out of so many jams recently that there's no way to believe I'm really in charge.
Found a quote today that said something like "If you're struggling that means you've just leveled up." That is a heartwarming thought and just what this trouper needed. It screams the words "You've got a challenge!" and a challenge is something I relish.
Here's a little of what I'm facing:
I have to get a job! After spending the last year in various business ventures, then totally suspended while taking care of family matters, then on a project assisting with a family business emergency, it's time for me to get back on track and find a position. That means making major decisions about what will make me happy. It also means facing fears about interviewing after having been fired. I can do this.
I also have to straighten out my finances. Funny, the two things that have always been the easiest control and maintain are the two that are currently in disarray. It's been a humbling experience and one that I'm grateful to have had.
Career & Finances - those are the major things - I also need to get back to the gym, get my house in order and create a new routine. A big challenge will be figuring out how to spend adequate time with my family while still taking care of my own needs once I start a new position. They are 500 miles away and the past year has taught me that I need to be there for me as much as I do for them, but I have no desire to move.
When I start feeling happier with my blog, I will know things are getting back on track in my real life. It will probably always be a random mixture of things but I'm hoping to find a way to make that work.